Got up one morning, 1 o'clock, and went for a walk in the cold. These are my thoughts.

Spelling in context, grammar too.

Here I sit
4 in the morning on a cold metal picnic table.
Inlet park in saratoga springs, ut.
What have I done with my life to lead me to such a place.

I couldnt sleep, my sleep schedule has been so crazy the last few days.
My butt is freezing even after the 2 mile walk.

What has gone wrong in my life,
Im an intelligent man, I have a great imagination, really, how cold is this bench.

I have made so many stupid choices though.
My inability to focus in schooling.
It wasnt tough, just... boring, I learn quickly when it is interesting.

I should have brought a snack. Not eating dinner and walking 2 miles really makes you hungry.

First off, I am sorry to Kimmy.
She really is the love of my life and I am letting her down completely
I dont think she really understands my plight.But really who can blame her.

I am not the most open person in the world. I dont talk much. Not because I dont have anything to say, but because I cant find the way to put it into spoken word off the top of  my head.

Alter lifes, video games, social media, and the like, only distract from an empty life. Things were so much simpler when I was younger, yes I was a thief, a liar, and a deviant. But it only affected me.

Now that I am older, and the world so much smaller, its easy to see my affect, my disease, on those around me.

3 kids I never see.
A wife falling out of love (with me, I still adore her), (even though I let her down constantly)
Parents who support me, and I only use them when I am down or needy.

Still I want to live, I live in a place, a time where a man with intelligence, with ideas can pick himself up.

Yes bureaucracy gets in my way
A too powerful government with their claws in areas they shouldnt be.
Claims way too much power over me.

A cow moos in the distance, throwing off my rhythm. They sure are delicious though so I will let it be.

Sitting on a metal picnic bench.
4:30 in the morning leads to better insight than a lifetime of bad choices
Or do the bad choices show me what I need to see.
Who knows.

I took the pen out of my wife's scripture case.
Could the thoughts and insights be coming from its lifetime us of righteousness?
Can an inanimate object so fully influence thought.
Isaac Newton sure would think so. Basically anyone who ever made a discovery on anything not biological would too.

My butt has either succumbed to the bench or it has warmed up the bench to my body's temperature. Im guessing the former. It is quite numb.

Staring at the sad, unused beige and green jungle gym has got me thinking that it must be happier when it has smiling, laughing children on it.

A lonely patch of snow on the side of the jungle gym has no footprints. Its been a while since someone slid down that slide.

Does this jungle gym know what its missing. Its obvious from the worn steps, the chipped paint that its been used.
Its metal bars too cold to be climbed upon.
No child to befriend it in this chilly climate. I wonder if its memory is long enough to recall warmer weather, or if, like a goldfish does it remember only loneliness.

I put the pen down on the table.
Only to swiftly pick it up again.
I dont want it to freeze.
To become like the jungle gym.

This pen means so much to me
If I could it would be my livelihood
So I keep it in y pocket
Protected by my warmth
While I wait for inspiration, from the pen, the jungle gym. The mooing cows, the chirping bird, the honking goose, the quacking duck.
Anything but my cold dark heart.

The only other thing this table is good for, besides holding up my book and being a stable area for me to write is the chill it is giving to my bottle of water

My left hand freezes as I write on the left page.

The marks of ink on my pinky finger are worth the relative warmth of the book to the table

All right handed people do not know the pain and torture that besets the lefties.

Constantly looking and feeling dirty due to genetics.

As I sit and await inspiration, sounds of early morning work greets my ears.
Cars on roads making raspy music.
Some muffled song coming through insulated doors
Factories drone along to produce the bass line.

Who is going to sing the melody.
Who out there will provide the chorus
Who will be the one to complete this song

The air is still, electric lights humming
The scratches of the pen, breaks the silence
The early morning sky starts to brighten
The pen keeps on writing, keeps trying to be heard

Who is going to sing the melody
Who out there will provide the chorus
Who will be the one to complete this song

The pen in my hand writes the words
The pen in my hand makes it come to life
I wish I could give this pen a voice, to see how it would sing this song

Time to get up and move.

On being married and unemployed.

 So recently, the last year, I found out that I have an issue with my feet, my heels to be exact. That limits my ability to stand for long periods of time. Anything over 45 minutes and my heels feel like burning hot nails are being shoved into my feet. Which makes me stand in a way that causes my calves to form huge knots in the muscles, which leads to huge knots forming in my lower back, which leads to massive headaches that feel worse than migraines that afflict me nonstop. I can get deep tissue massages that help me feel better but the knots form faster than the ability I have to get rid of them.
 The reason I wrote that first paragraph was so that you would understand why I have had a hard time finding employment. I have a lot of different work experience, it should be easy for me to find something where I am sitting down. But for some strange reason I cannot find anything, my email sent box is littered with resumes and applications I have filled out. Hundreds upon hundreds, and few are the responses I have received, even fewer are the interviews I have been on.
 I am relying on my wife, newly married just over a year, to be the breadwinner. I have tried many different ways to make money and none seem to work. I know I have good ideas, I know how to run a business, I know how to work and work hard and smart.
 But me sitting home, day after day, is taking its toll on my happiness, my marriage and my wife. I find myself sleeping in longer, watching more TV and being plain lazy. My self worth has plummeted, I know I am qualified for any job I apply to, and I know I would benefit greatly whoever hired me, but I wish I could work for myself. I have so many wonderful ideas I know would make great TV shows, wonderful businesses, and lots of money.
 I have asked for so much help over my life, I cannot ask for more, but doing anything myself at this point in my life where, since the Air Force in 2009, I have been unemployed about 1/3 of the time. It has ruined my credit and I cannot get a traditional loan, nor do Kickstarter or Angel loans seem to get going for me, granted I do not have any money to put together a decent presentation or start something. It would also help if I were motivated to put something together, but life has been too depressing, even a small win lift me. Those who truly know me know that I am a happy person, my outside demeanor usually doesn't show it but inside I have been able to remain truly happy. Just circumstances have led to this depressing, self depreciating, time of my life that is having adverse affects on my marriage. And for that I am truly sorry to my wife, family and friends.

How are there so many "smart" people in politics?

  But no one is attempting to find answers that will satisfy both sides. I am talking about "marriage equality". Now before anyone gets upset or tries to use this against me, let me just say. I believe that everyone in the country deserves the same God-granted rights that this country was founded on, whatever race, gender, sexual preference, basically whatever you adhere to or believe in.
  I am a staunch Christian and believe that performing homosexual acts is a sin. But as a conservative I believe that everyone deserves to be treated the same by the government. Homosexual couples who want to just be awarded the same rights as a straight couple, should have the same rights.
  Now this is where I might lose some people, I believe that marriage is defined as a union between a man and a woman. Marriage has historically been a religious rite, yes you can argue that marriage has been throughout all history, but it has stemmed from religion.
  The United States didn't start regulating marriages until the 1800's when the population was starting to boom and the census wasn't able to keep up, so the easiest way to keep track of everyone was to have them get licenses as a way for the feds to keep tally on who was where and how many people were citizens.
  Back then, they didn't think about the affects regulating marriages would have on everyone, just like it is now, homosexuals were a small minority, albeit less vocal than today, and for good reasons too. Now before anyone takes that out of context, I am lamenting the deaths of people based solely on their sexual preference, just like I lament every death because someone was different.
  I believe that if they would have known the hassle, the fighting, and the heartache that people are going through today they would have not regulated marriages, making marriage licenses, they would have named them Civil Unions, or Domestic Partnerships. I would gladly sign up for a Civil Union license, and I would gladly endorse that for anyone else.
  I wonder if some politician really wanted to change the wording, from Marriage License, to Civil Union License. How hard he would have to work, how difficult it would be to get bipartisan help to make everyone happy. I have tried to contact the Governor of Utah, the Lieutenant Governor, and their aides to see what it would take for the state to issue Civil Union Licenses instead of Marriage Licenses and all I get in return are form letters thanking me for my suggestion.
  In my opinion most politicians are extremely corrupt, especially ones that make a career out of being a politician. And nothing makes them more money than having discord in the ranks of their constituents and hangers-on. I mean, who would donate money to them if they did not have a few good one-liners about issues such as this.
  I have talked to many people about this, conservatives such as my self, libertarians, and liberals, all agree that doing away with Marriage licenses all together is a good idea. But then again we are all just normal citizens, unwise to the way that the political system actually works.
  I hope one day all citizens of the United States will be treated equally, and the way to do that is to actually find a good solution, not force what you want on others. But that really seems to be the way that politics work.

Finding employment and having a college education.

 I am so tired of looking for work, where is this 6% unemployment that I am hearing about. I am being told Obama is a great president and that unemployment is the lowest its been in over a decade. But where are those jobs? I am highly employable, my only issue is, I do not have a 4 year degree. I am an Air Force veteran who served for 6 years as an Arabic linguist and Geospatial analyst. Shouldn't that count as a proxy 4 year degree. I learned more than most college student in those 6 years. But to all of America that doesn't matter, all that matters is whether or not I have a degree in anything. I could have a degree in Woman's Studies and get a job, with my experience, in the Department of Defense, as a contractor, doing what I used to do. They didn't care what schooling I had, just as long as I had some.
 How messed up is that, I am a highly intelligent person, I learned Arabic, all the multitudes of difficult software packages that come with being a Geospatial analyst, all without finishing a college degree. How amazing is it that you  have so many intelligent people doing work, creating business, running businesses, without having degrees. I have applied for work as a cellphone salesperson, I was turned down because one of the "requirements" was a degree. If anyone were to give me a chance I could prove that I can do just about. But since I do not have that mystical, wonderful thing that is a college degree, I will not be given that chance, and my choices of employment which I know I would excel at, and be a profit for any company willing to hire me.
 How did the world function before colleges, how did the people survive knowing that the person who was working for them, who was working on them, who was working with them did not know how to properly write a paper on 14th century history. I can understand schooling for highly technical jobs, but it does not need to be done in the way it is done now. What is the need for general education classes, electives. That seems like a way to make money for big education. Why not just go to college, higher education, for classes just for what you want to do? Why is there a 5th year of high school?
 Am I not smart enough, do I not have enough experience to even deserve a call back. I have applied to so many jobs, talked to so many employers and only a few time do I get an email, get a call or any feedback on my application. I have been interviewed 3 times of the hundreds of resumes and applications I have filled out. I am getting very depressed at the lack of any information.
 Once again, where is this economic bounce back that I am hearing of? I do not see it, or benefit from it.
 http://www.mynextmove.org/vets/profile/summary/27-3091.00 This is an explanation of my military skills translated by O-net.

The State of Utah's Department of Human Service, Office of Recovery Services

 So I have the extreme pleasure of dealing with the Office of Recovery Services in Utah. They handle child support. I have tried for 3 years to get a reduction in my child support, California set it, and since moving to Utah (I now live in South Carolina due to issues with Utah), two and a half years ago they have given me the run around.
 The initial form they ask you for is pretty simple to fill out, this is not the form requesting the paperwork, I filled it out completely, sent in the 2 pay stubs they asked for (note it said 2 pay stubs or last years W2) and waited for them to get back to me. They sent me two letters, one telling me that I did not include my W2 and they will throw out my case 10 days from the date of the letter, which was 7 days ago. The other is a packet of stuff asking me how much I am making now. I included that all in the first packet. Why do they need another packet of way more information to tell them what was included in the first packet. This is extremely frustrating.
 Meanwhile, my ex-wife is getting more than half of my paycheck, which isn't that much to begin with, getting more put into arrears, on top of getting daycare payments for my son who shouldn't be in that much day care to begin with. Granted I know he could still be in day care, he is only in the 2nd grade. But shouldn't the amount have decreased. But the Office of Recovery Services doesn't care about that, they don't care if they are charging me more than what they should. They couldn't care about being a non-custodial parent.
 I want to sue the state of Utah, but I doubt it would do anything. Bureaucrats will find a way out of paying for the issues they will cause always.
 So I am sitting here, unable to pay bills, unable to buy good food, unable to live a happy life while the State of Utah sits on paperwork, causes more paperwork to be done, and just overall makes my life a nightmare. I don't deserve this, and my wife doesn't deserve having to be the main breadwinner for us.

Finally decided to join Twitter.

  I have a lot of thoughts through out the day, and I think they should be shared. Not all of them, no one should ever know all the thoughts you have during the day. But sharing ones that have meaning will always be a good thing. I want this country to become what it was meant to be, before politicians twisted the words of the Constitution, before corruption crept in, before laziness and socialism set in and drove us to the point where people depend on the government to do what they should want to do.
  I am an injured veteran, I could easily depend on the government to help me and sustain me, but where is the pride in that. Who would I be if I let the government take care of me, just another sucker at the teat of the hard work of others. I can still work, I can still offer something to my community, to my country, to my world. I will not ever succumb to the feelings that it is OK to be a burden upon the taxpayers. Why should others have to support me, am I a vegetable, am I incapable of speech, of writing, of thinking for myself? No, I can always offer something, someone will be inspired by my words, someone will find what I can do, what I can say of worth. And why shouldn't they, my words are meant to inspire, to help, to show that there is a better way. To show that no matter what, thinking for yourself, doing what you can will always be better than being given something taken from someone else.

I would love to post more about my book but my next few pages are in South Carolina.

I wish I would've taken all my stuff with me when I left South Carolina, regretfully I didnt have enough money to rent a Uhaul, and whats even worse is I didnt grab all the pages I printed out on my book. So somewhere in a little storage unit in South Carolina is about 5 pages of single spaced typed words of my book. Now I remember enough about those 5 pages that I wouldnt have to worry too much about rewriting them. But I would love to just go get them, put them in the parts of my book that I already have, and then go from there. I have continued writing past that, seeing as how I grab the pages after that. I should probably just go back and rewrite it, that way I could send it off as soon as I finish it, seeing as how I will probably not ever get back to South Carolina with the amount of money it would take to get my stuff out of storage until I sell my book. So far I have had people only say good things about what I wrote. I just recently sent off the first part of the book to Brandon Sanderson for him to read. I saw him at the book signing for his latest book, The Alloy of Law, in Huntington Beach. He said he would read what I send him, and he is a real down to earth guy so I believed him when he said that.
I hope he really likes it and offers words of encouragement or criticism to help me finish my book. I need that type of motivation because I get distracted easily. Well I hope to get more of my book done, I am trying to be more industrious. I have a few projects going on, and I would love support, so if you know anyone who likes reading, tell them to come here, I would love to have more people read what I have written and offer any advice. Thanks for reading.

A good friend told me I need to remember my dreams.

So I dont know if I have ever mentioned that I dont remember my dreams. The only ones I remember are ones that wake me up in the middle of them, which are usually nightmares. If I sleep the whole night threw I dont remember them. Is this my subconscious telling me I should write horror stories? I dont know, because most of mine are dealing more with just straight dying then actually being scary. Does this mean anything as well? I am constantly dreaming of dying or near death situations, not in extremely scary settings. Like last night, I was chased down by a woman with a gun and shot. I will spare the extra details, but we will just say, she had a story, a lie about me doing something that I didnt and when I didnt go along with her story, and implied that she was at fault, she became extremely upset with me and shot me.
Its the shock of dying or almost dying that breaks me out of sleep. Thus allowing me to remember the dream I was currently in. I am sure I have better, more fun dreams that would be more like what I would like to write about but I can not remember them.
I feel like continuing writing the book that I started this blog for, it gets hard when I am constantly being interrupted. I wrote mainly at work, when I was in the Air Force, the down time of just sitting and waiting and listening for stuff we reported was a lifetime, so I was constantly writing, having a computer, one that was mine for all shift helped too. Now I dont get a computer and we are constantly interrupted here. I could write at home, but that requires me to have some self restraint which I am sorely in need of. I do know that I enjoy books, fantasy ones, that explain in sufficient manner how the magic that they use works. I dont like books, or like books less, that just say, he waggled his fingers and shot out a fireball. It just is poor craftsmanship, I want to know how he does that, where he draws his power from, maybe I am a nerd, but I like to be entertained and believe that on some distant world there are people who can pull power from the flow of magic from the air and channel it through themselves, or learn the true name of something and command it to do as their bidding, not just yell out fireball and it magically, yes I know, appear. That seems enough for now.

Another possible book idea.

So I think it would be totally fun to write how-to books without knowing how to do something in the first place. Just use my imagination to make up how to do a whole variety of things. From cooking, crafts, carpentry to raising kids, psychiatry and marriage. I think it would be something hilarious. Especially since I am good at making things up. I think most people would be surprised at how much I dont know, I just talk confidently and act like I know what I am talking about. Most people dont do enough research to find out that I am totally full of crap haha. Maybe saying so on here isnt the best idea, but people are forgetful too, they wont remember that my confidence is feigned. I am just that good, haha.

1 year older, almost.

So I am 1 year older from the time of my last post, and nothing has changed. I thought things had, but now I am back where I was a year ago. It is funny how life is like that. I havent written much on any book idea I have had, yet I have had an idea about a TV show. It would be somewhat like cheaters, the reality show that followed the significant others of people who thought they were being cheated on. But this show would be called "Unfit" or something like that. It would follow ex spouses who had custody of children around, set on by the person who wanted to prove that they should be taking care of the children, not the parent who had custodial rights at the time.
They would have private investigators follow and gather information on both of the parents and if both parents agreed they would hold a Judge Judy type courtroom appearance to figure out if the parent who brought up the case had enough to get better if not custodial rights of the children. If the parent the charges were brought against did not want to be seen in court before a TV judge then the show would foot the bill for the case, if there was enough evidence, as long as the parent who contacted the show in the first place, and gave an interview afterwards, hopefully with the children.
Well thats all for now, and why I should be saddened after recent happenings in my life, maybe that will come later, but for now I am sort of relieved. In a sense that I can settle down and have a peaceful life once again. Well as peaceful as it can get for me. Maybe I will get a job on the east coast and be able to accept it. If only I could hear back from ALI. Oh well, thanks for reading.

Soo...

I am getting the feeling like I want to work on my book some more. I just finished reading a couple Brandon Sanderson books and am amazed at how well he writes. It has really put me in the mood to write myself. I want to finish my book and see if it is worthy of being published. Most likely after some very heavy editing, of course. But I am excited to finish it, as an introduction to this world that lives inside my head, and also as a way to write other stories that coincide with this place.
I always wanted to write, to finish my book, but real life tends to get in the way and make it difficult. Now that things are again dying down and my life is looking like it might become stable again I can look at writing with a fresh mind again. The ideas have been there all along, they have just been filed and stored under "Save for later date". So here goes, time to start writing again, look out world you are in store for a wonderful adventure.

Mangling of words

It sometimes amazes me how a phrase, comment or a whole conversation of mine can be taken the wrong way. Am I that unclear as to believe that when I am trying to convey my feelings for a certain subject or person, that it gets taken in a way that I didnt mean at all? I am sure that many times, the mangling of my words isn't meant in a malicious way. But I still dont like it when it is done. When I am trying to be sincere, kind and just trying to explain things people take it as an attack. Maybe it is just because it is things that I care about deeply, since I am usually not one to put things into words. They usually come at a time of great passion, so feelings are heightened and more easily offended.
Well that is enough of that. I am looking into writing a short book, humorous of course since that suits me the most, but with a serious side note to it about dating as a nice guy. I consider myself a nice guy, some people may disagree with that but they will burn in the deep fiery pits of heck. So yeah, I am a nice guy, and dating isnt very fun. Because I have a tendency to care about people and trust that they are decent people as well. I forget that most people have faults, as I do too, and that they sometimes take advantage of my trust and kindness, sometimes unknowingly. But in the end, most of the time it ends up with me alone with only empty compliments. I could be bitter, but as I was thinking about it, I would be better suited turning my life and my dating snafoos into a humorous, book of learning. And who knows, maybe some trustworthy, funny, witty, beautiful woman will read said book, or blogpost (since I probably will never get it published) and decide that she will want to change my opinion on dating as a nice guy.
I say dating as a nice guy because, I have done the whole, be a jerk, get a girl to fall for you, because they do, it is ridiculous I know. But it never felt right that way, because I am not a jerk, no matter what my ex's say. I am a nice guy, and hopefully one day, instead of complimenting me on my niceness as they sail away from me. I will get a nice girl as well who is willing to drop anchor and moor with me. Yes sailing analogies, gets the girls every time.

Yeah its been a while hasnt it.

Searching for work has to be the most depressing thing ever. Knowing that you have skills to do a job but not getting hired because you can not prove that you can do a job is the worst. I thought I might have something when I almost got hired on at Honda. I had never sold cars before in my life, but I knew that I could do it. The guys who were doing the interviews thought so as well because they pushed me along and were going to hire me but then corporate said no and that fell apart. At least I can go to school and get my degree.
I cant help but think that the only reason I dont have a job yet is because Heavenly Father has something wonderful in store for me and if I get some small blessing right now, I wont be ready for the wonderful blessing that will be coming if I will only be patient.
I am blessed with a caring, patient family who is allowing me to get my schooling done and have a roof over my head. But it is so hard to keep myself from daydreaming about a time when I will be able to be on my own again. I cant wait to have a job, and feel like I am contributing to society again, instead of just being a sponge soaking up what other people work so hard for.

Limericks

Every once and a while I sit at my computer at work, and stupid little things come to me. Now instead of doing what everyone else does and just laughs them off and forgets about them. I write them down. I have made up a good amount of limericks working here. Almost 1 per person who works on my shift with me. I will share a few, now just a little FYI, they are limericks, they are silly, and they are normally written when I am bored out of my mind waiting for something to happen. So here we go, enjoy. Comments about the person in the limerick, follow the actual limerick, so there is no confusion.

There once was a girl nicknamed Rassy
She turned out to be quite spazzy
One late night she farted
The whole room departed
And she in turn confessed "I'm gassy"

Now, I will let you know, this coworker has never been gassy, but she normally is quite spazzy.

Air Force Staff Sargeant Jamie O
Not the brightest bulb you know
When a fact was said
She shook her head
And believed that it started to snow

I am proud of this one.

Goins, always looking for a deal
Something technically a steal
Driving home, something stunk
He had run over a skunk
Cooked it up and called it veal

This guy has had long conversations about how he wants to harvest his own methane gas for cooking and heating and whatever else he can think of.

Obi is one who loves to joke
While drinking a 2-liter of coke
His breath smelled bad
A mentos he had
And exploded in a cloud of smoke

This one is self explanatory.

Terry is the head of this shop
Everything goes wrong he yells stop
The curses flow out
As he starts to shout
And veins in his head go pop

Terry, as is said, is my boss, he is an ex marine with a, yes you guessed it, marines vocabulary. And he does get mad quite often, with every little thing that goes wrong here.

Libby wanted a house built of bricks
Then came the man elected of her politics
Took all her stuff
"Tax ma'am tough luck"
Now she lives under a lean-to of sticks

As you guessed it, Libby is a liberal, and a huge one at that, but we still are able to have semi-courteous conversations.

Margie has always loved to read
Getting through books with amazing speed
Reading a book
Sleep overtook
Woke up to find she had pee'd

Yeah, a little crude, but I think its funny. She does read at work, and every once and a while you will find her asleep at her computer.

Once there was a man named nate
Who would make his own fishing bait
Needed more fresh
Chopped up flesh
He planned another blind date

This is one that has nothing to do with the guy at all, just those were the rhymes that came up with Nate. I will admit, I do not think that Nate is a serial killer who turns his victims into bait, but with some people you never know...

Inga she grew up in the wild
Thinking she was quite mild
Ate a zebra raw
Blood dripping down her jaw
And everyone at the Zoo felt defiled

Inga, a good friend of mine, grew up in Kenya. Her mom lived out there pretty much doing what Rachel is doing right now. Supporting local people start businesses and helping them make money.

There once was a contractor named Jess
She liked to bake while wearing a dress
Chocolate she mistook
Took laxatives to work
And made the whole shop a mess

While Jess does like to bake things and bring them to work, the have been nothing but delicious.

I once knew a girl, went by the name Lili
Liked to go out and act all silly
Started to dance
Wearing sweatpants
But still she claims she isn't hillbilly



Well that is all for limericks. Maybe someday I'll come up with more, and for family members and friends we all know.

No one has commented on my writings....

So I will take it as though you are all in awe of my eloquence. Yeah, that sounds about right. I will be posting the next few paragraphs, which is Dan's first time falling asleep after meeting Rylar.
I wanted to take this time to share a story. I havent been able to attend church for the longest time. My work schedule rarely gives me Sundays off. So lately the missionaries have been stopping by, and my home teachers have been really good about coming around to see if I need anything, the first time in about 2 years. My ward just split, I will say that I will be able to at least attend Sacrament meeting when my schedule shifts in July.
But when the missionaries visited we were talking about just random things, and I was mentioning my issues that I am having right now with not being able to see Kennedy and Kyler, and we got to talking about judges among other things. Well the Jr companion pulled out a verse from Alma 10:27
"And now behold, I say unto you, that the foundation of the destruction of this people is beginning to be laid by the unrighteousness of your lawyers and your judges."
It really got me thinking about how judges are getting into things that they are not really for them to decide. Judges are there to judge according to the law, not according to how they feel about a certain topic.
Now, I am not preaching doom and gloom and the end of the world. I also understand the checks and balances of the government, that they are there for a reason. But when a group of 7 people are able to overturn the will of millions of people, something is wrong. Especially when those people arent elected officials, and usually placed there by people who have an agenda. And that is my rant for today. Stay tuned for more book.

Next couple paragraphs

Now to continue the book:
I turned on the television, it was on the evening news at the time, they were reporting on the latest celebrity scandal regarding her treatment of her children. I tuned the news out and sat back soaking in all that had happened. I saw Rylar staring intently at the screen, and reached over and pinched a little of his fur behind his front right leg.
-Ouch, what did you do that for?- He swiped at my hand as I quickly snatched it away.
I'm sorry I just wanted to see if you were real, this all seems a little surreal to me, I have never heard of anything like this happening before. You did say that you were sleeping.
-Well that is no reason to pinch me, how would you like it if I did that to you, and while I am sleeping in my world, I am still really here, wasn't that obvious by the fact that you had to buy me, you're welcome for getting fifty dollars knocked off the price. As well as your cute neighbor being able to see me.-
She is cute to you? I would've thought that you would be more interested in someone more.... well, more your type. At this point, I would like to apologize, I realize that I was catching on slowly to what was really going on, but really how often do you hold conversations with ferrets.
-More my type? Do you reallly think that I am always like this? When I am not asleep I am a just like you.-
I thought about this for a second, then it dawned on me. "So what you are saying is that you are my parallel universe self?" I asked "Is that how this works?"
-No, I only meant that I am human, just like you. We are of no relation other than this companionship.-
What does that mean, the companionship, how come I have never heard of this, why is this happening to me? I have always had a very good imagination; I pride myself on being able to see, vividly the lands of the books that I have read. Going along on the adventures that the heroes and heroines have, share the feelings of loss at the death of a friend, the jubilance at saving the day, defeating the enemy. I never thought that I would ever experience anything like the quests I had read about in these many books. But here you are, telling me that you are from some other Earth, saying that I will go with you, just like you are with me.
-All I know is that you are the one that I have been waiting for. There are stories of people on your side being put in asylums because of their outlandish stories of visiting other worlds while sleeping. So I am quessing that's why no one knows about this or has said anything about it. Don't worry about it though, nothing will happen to you over here, look at me, I have been sitting around waiting for you for 15 years. I am still here, still healthy, so don't worry about what it will be like.-
With that, I leaned back, turned my attention to the news and decided that although it may not be what I had dreamt about, it still was a break in the life that I had been living. I looked at the clock on the wall, saw that it was close to 8 o'clock and decided that I should eat some dinner. Rylar sat on the couch, eyes glued to the TV learning all about this world and what is going on here. I made myself some soup, grabbed a soda from the fridge and sat down and slurped at my meal.
The longer I thought about the chance to see a different world, albeit as a ferret, helped me to get over my initial concerns and fears of there actually being another world. I know that I had thought about going on adventures before, being a hero somewhere, being able to perform magic. I really wanted to see how the people lived on the other side, if they were just like me, if they had any weird animals, or other species like humans. Maybe they had elves, or dwarves, were there evil races like orcs, or goblins.
-Don't want to disappoint you, but its just humans.- Rylar told me as I was in the middle of thinking of an epic battle with me being a humanoid ferret, wielding a two-handed battle axe, chopping off orc heads and limbs with no abandon as elfin archers mow down column and row of goblins. Dwarves running through the enemies breaking kneecaps with their oversized, well oversized for dwarves, maces.
-There are no other species, and you will definitely not be human sized, you will be the normal size of a ferret, although as far as I know, you will be able to talk.-
Well that is still something magical I guess. How does it feel, is being in an animals' body weird? Do you have animal senses? I asked, hoping and praying that I will at least have improved smelling and senses, something to make it more interesting.
-Well, I do feel more curious than ever, its sort of hard to sit here without wanting to run off and explore the dark corners of your apartment, and please close the cupboard that you left open after getting the pan out for you soup, its cracked open, and I know that if I walk over there I could squeeze in, and it is distracting me from watching the viewer.-
We talked a little bit longer, mostly getting to know each other, we both had a lot of similarities. We both like to read, both liked sports although the sports that he told me about were like nothing I had ever heard before. He explained to me about (I dont have a name for this yet, if you have one, let me know), it is a game that sounded a lot like rugby, except it was played with teams either using magically or technologically enhanced bodies on a field 10 times the length of a football field, with a spherical ball six feet in diameter. The goal of the game is to smash your way down the field being able to kick or throw the ball to other players, and throw, or kick the ball through a hoop just 2 inches wider than the ball.
I noticed that it was getting close to 10 pm and I was starting to get tired, and Rylar yawned a tiny ferret yawn and suggested that it was time to go to sleep.
So when I go to sleep tonight, I will wake up in a ferret's body? And on your side? I asked.
-Yes, and we will meet again, in my world.-
So I went to the bathroom, took a shower and brushed my teeth. I didn't want to wake up in a dirty ferret body with bad breath. I walked to my bed, noticed that Rylar had already fallen asleep on my pillow. I moved the pillow to the side, grabbed another pillow closing my eyes as I pulled the blankets over me I saw that the clock read 11:12 and wondered what it would feel like waking up somewhere else.

And that is the end of the prologue. Once again, if you have a suggestion for the name of the sport, I would appreciate it.

Next Excerpt

Before I enter this next part, I just want to mention some of my concerns. One of my weak areas, that I believe, is my conversations between characters. If you have any suggestions about it, encouragement, anything just let me know.

As I was walking up the stairs my neighbor Jill was coming out of her apartment. Since moving in to the building, I had developed a huge crush on her. She was beautiful, brown hair, hazel eyes, I never asked her but I would have to guess she was about 5'3" with a slender, not skinny, build. But I have always been more attracted to short women. She looked at me and noticed that I was carrying a cage and yelled out to me, "So I see you finally found that pet you were looking for." As she got closer she saw that there was a half eaten cheeseburger in the cage with Rylar.
"I'm pretty sure that is not considered proper food for a ferret."
"Well I bought it for myself, but as I was taking the first bite out of it, he just looked up at me and sort of whimpered...
-I would never whimper-
...and I just couldn't have him staring at me so sadly, he seems to enjoy it."
"Well you are right, he does seem to enhoy it, and he is pretty cute, what is his name?"
"Rylar"
"That's a unique name, how did you come up with it?"
"It just seems to fit him. But hey, I am going to take him inside and help him get used to his new home."
Not wanting to have to explain anything else I told her goodbye and I walked into my small one bedroom apartment. I set his cage down on the coffee table as I walked into the kitchenette and poured myself a drink of tap water. My hand was shaking as I brought the glass up to my lips to take a drink. It is not every day that you come across a ferret who can read your mind, and speak to you in your mind.
I figure I should just get used to talking to you this way, so what exactly does all this mean, where did you come from, why was I the one you were waiting for?
-Well I am from Earth, I am your companion, familiar, friend whatever you want to call it. We are special as in there are not many people like us who exist in the world. I am your key into my world.-
My key into your world? What are you talking about, I thought you said you were from Earth.
-I am from Earth, but it is a different Earth than this one. I don't really know how to explain it, only that I can only reach this side while I am sleeping, and that I have been waiting for you to find me. I have been waiting for you for the past 15 years. When I told you that I hated the other food that I was fed before, I wasn't kidding, every few years I would change. My first time showing up on this side I was a Pomeranian.-
I am glad I didn't find you then, I would've just walked right by, even if you had tried to get my attention.
-Ha ha, very funny, next I was a tabby, then a black lab and most recently I was this form. Which I haven't seen yet, could you let me out of this cage? I promise I am well behaved. I just want to see what I look like.-
I walked over to the cage, opened the door and reached in to pull him out, he was soft and warm. I put him down on the couch next to me, he jumped down from the couch and ran away. I chased after him and found him sitting on the bathroom counter, admiring himself in the mirror.
-I have to admit, I do like this form the best, and I am sure that you will be just as pleased.-
What are you talking about? I will be just as pleased?"
-Oh sorry, I am getting ahead of myself. As I have said before, I get to this side through sleep. Well now that I have found you, every time you sleep, from now on, you will accompany me to my world. But you will be the one who looks like a ferret.-
WHAT, I don't want to dream of being a ferret, why do I have to be a ferret!
-It's part of the agreement we have, part of the heritage that we share, being companions, and you wont actually be dreaming it.-
I don't remember making any sort of an agreement with you. I just wanted a pet, I just wanted some company.
-Well, that is what I am. I am your companion, I will keep you company, better than any other "pet".-
He then jumped off the counter and walked away, if ever a ferret looked disgusted, this was that time. I followed him back to the living room where I found him sitting on the sofa studying my humble abode.
-Is that some sort of viewer? I can't seem to turn it on, how do you turn it on.-
That is called a television and you have to use the remote.

Well, stay tuned for more thoughts, and more of my book. Thanks for reading.

Next part of the book, along with a little thought.

I recently made a post on The Daily Show forums, yes, I know, I dont really watch it all that much, but sometimes its on when I am at work, and lets face it, sometimes work is boring, so I watch it and listen to it.
But the topic that made me want to write on that Liberal friendly site was about Gay's in the Military. So many civilians are outraged about this topic, but they dont take the time to listen to people in the actual military talk about it, they say "Let them in" but thats not how the military works. Let me explain how the "Don't ask-don't tell" policy works. Anyone and everyone who wants to join the military can, there is a ban on gays in the military, but because of dont ask dont tell, they can, because technically, according to the military, there arent any serving. That is how the military thinks.
I wrote more on the topic, if you would like to read what I said here is a link, just understand, I am saying these things as how I think, as someone who has been in the military, they should go about trying to be more "equal" instead of just demanding that it happen. You dont do that in the military, you cant just force it to change its policies just like that. Here is the link, take it with a grain of salt:
http://forum.thedailyshow.com/tds/board/message?board.id=14067&thread.id=31
Ok, the thing that I wanted to say, the guy who responded to my thread, said that people might think I am not open minded. I have issues with the phrase "open minded". Why are conservatives the only ones considered close minded? If I call a liberal close minded because he doesnt agree with my point of view, how come they disagree with that. It doesnt make sense, is open mindedness only a one way street? If your mind isnt open to socially progressive ideas, you are wrong. This kind of hypocrisy upsets me, you cant only claim open-minds go only one way. But in my humble opinions, anyone who claims that you are close-minded are usually the most close-minded of them all.

But on to my book, here is a few more paragraphs:
But the way this ferret was following me around the room with his beady little eyes made me have to ask the owner of the shop about it.
"How much is that ferret?" I asked
"I dont even know why I have that guy anymore, all he does is bite and scratch anyone who ever comes in here, if they can even get their hands on him and then he acts indifferent to anyone else who comes in here."
"So he doesnt normally stare down everyone who comes in this shop?"
"That's the first time I have seen him do it in the three years he has been here."
"So how much is he worth?"
"Well if you dont mind being mauled by an elongated rat, I guess I could let him go for one-hundred dollars."
By the time I realized that there was something special about how intensely the ferret was following my every move. At that time, when the shop keeper told me the price, the ferret bared his teeth, and hissed at me, while arching his back.
"You know what, I really need to get rid of him, 3 years is a long time for me to have held on to him, fifty dollars cash and he is yours."
It could've just been my imagination, but I believe that I saw a smirk as the ferret settled down after the price was lowered. I took that as a sign to buy him. I gave the owner fifty dollars, picked up some of the other things that I would need; a cage for slee, a few toys to curb his curiousity and a few cans of processed ferret food.
Getting everything in a bag and coaxing him into the cage so that I could get him home, he brushed up against my hand as I closed the cage door.
-It's about time you showed up, this place is boring.-
"Excuse me?"
"I didnt say anything." Said the shop owner. "Is something wrong?"
"No, I just thought I heard someone say something."
-I did say something, now lets get out of here, I want something real to eat, that ferret food is worse than the cat food I had to endure the last 6 years.-
"Umm, okay."
"Okay... okay what?" asked the shop keeper.
"Uh, okay I am out of here, thank you so much, and have a wonderful day."
As I walked out of the shop, I saw the owner stare after me and shake his head, but then he turned back and counted out the money that I had just paid him, I am sure he was happy to finally get rid of his most troublesome pet.
-So where are we going, I am hungry for some real food._
I looked around to see if anyone else was around; it was just me, walking out to my parked car. I looked down at the ferret; he seemed to be looking right back up at me. There is no way that the ferrret could be talking to me, no way, I thought to myself that I didnt feel crazy.
-I dont know if you are crazy either, but we really should get something to eat now that I found you.-
"Am I really having this conversation with myself?" I mutter as I got my key out to open the car door.
-Have a conversation later, I dont eat much but I am really hungry.-
"Are you really talking ot me?' I said this as I was looking at the ferret in the cage, which I was slowly lowering onto the passenger seat. "And am I really talking to you right now?" I looked around confirming the fact that I was the only one around, at least no one can hear me talking to a ferret in a cage.
-I think that I have shown that I can understand you, just like you can understand me.-
Luckily at that time I had the cage close to the seat, as I dropped it from surprise. Not everyday that you have a ferret that speaks straight into your mind.
-Hey, watch it!-
"Sorry, so hey, do I really have to talk to you out loud?" Or can I just think and you can hear it?
-I dont know, I am new to this as well, I just knew that you were the one that I was supposed to be with. But I did hear everything you said, or thought.-
Good, so what is going on? Why are you here, why are we able to talk, why did you pick me? Even though I wasn't speaking to the ferret at that time, I did look up in time to see a couple whisper to each other and point in my direction. I realized that I was sitting in my car, both hands on top of the cage staring down into it intently. He just casually looked around the car, then looked up at me and did what I can only describe as a yawn.
-So are we going to get something to eat, like I said before, that crap you bought tastes horrible, now that I have you I am not going to eat that anymore. So where is the nearest eating tube around here.-
I dont know about an eating tube, but what kind of food do you like to eat, I mean what can you eat?
-I can eat whatever you eat although in this form I do like meat a lot more than anything else. By the way my name is Rylar Vault.-
And my name is Dan Cooper.
So without asking what he meant by "this form", I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the nearest fast food restaurant. I asked Rylar what he wanted to eat, he told me that it didnt matter much, as long as it was tasty. So I bought him a cheeseburger and when I put it in his cage he started taking small bites telling me of how delicious it was. I wasnt really hungry so I just drove home, carried everything that I had bought up the stairs to my apartment.

That is enough for now, stay tuned for more.

First blog, first page from my book.

Thank you for coming and reading, I will be introducing you to my new book. The part you are about to read is the introduction to the main characters.

From a young age I had always thought that there was something special in store for me, something that would happen to make me a hero, to make my name stand out among other men. I grew up as a normal boy with an imagination much larger than my life would ever allow me to fulfill. My nose was forever in books, reading of heroes and heroines, going on epic adventures saving worlds and countries from dire, evil villains.
Dreams were the only way that I could reach my hidden potential. In these dreams I saved beautiful princesses, and they showered me, as normal-looking a boy you would come across, the love that would normally be reserved for more handsome men.
It was because of these dreams that I felt that I was destined to be a hero, destined to find out that I was actually some prince, or descended from a hero who lived in a magical land unreachable by conventional means of travel. Whose inhabitants would send an emissary to recall me back to their land to save them from some great evil who, at first would seem invincible, and defeat me but not kill me, I would recover, learning my newfound skills and powers to the point where I would defeat the evil and save the land and live out my life in peace and treated as the hero.
Then I grew up, and realized that I was just the son of two normal parents, who are amazing people and heroes in their own right, who would never give me a magical sword, telling me of my magical ancestry. I still dreamed of those far off princesses, and the adventures I would have if I were that hero.
My life was about as normal as normal goes. Went through school unnoticed, did a few after school activites, hung out with the same group of friends every day. Graduated from high school, did a few college classes, dropped out after those few, and joined the military. While I was in the military my life changed drastically, after a couple of deployments, coming back to a regular life was more difficult than I could ever imagine. That's when all the weird stuff started happening.
I was tired of being alone, my family was on the other side of the continent, in California, and I was in Georgia. As I said before, I am plain, nothing special to look at, that and while I should have been developing social skills, I was reading and dreaming about going on magical adventures. So dating was out of the question. So i decided that getting a pet would be the next best thing.
The search for a pet was going slow, I didnt want to get something too big that would be a hassle for a single male living in a small apartment, and I didnt want to get something you would see a hair stylist carry around in a hand bag. Cats were out of the question, cats and I just didnt get along. I always ended up on the wrong side of their claws. I love dogs, specifically black labs, but they were a little too big for where I was living. I contemplated getting some sort of reptile, I really thought that Chinese Water Dragons look cool, but I wanted something that wouldnt scare away any future date I might have. So that put the nix on reptiles.
Just when I thought I would never find a suitable pet, I walked into an exotic pet store and in this cage; and just staring at me was a ferret. At first I thought he just turned to look when the bell over the door rang, but as I walked around the store, looking at the various birds, rabbits and other pets, I realized that he never, assumed that it was a he, took his eyes off me. I had never really though of getting a ferret for a pet, to me they seemed to be something an actor/actress gets to show off that they are exotic. My first choice would have been a Jack Russell Terrier, small dog yes, but not a prissy dog.

Well that is the first snippet of the book, sort of long, not much into the book as a whole, but I would like to know what you think of my writing style. I will add more later.