Soo...

I am getting the feeling like I want to work on my book some more. I just finished reading a couple Brandon Sanderson books and am amazed at how well he writes. It has really put me in the mood to write myself. I want to finish my book and see if it is worthy of being published. Most likely after some very heavy editing, of course. But I am excited to finish it, as an introduction to this world that lives inside my head, and also as a way to write other stories that coincide with this place.
I always wanted to write, to finish my book, but real life tends to get in the way and make it difficult. Now that things are again dying down and my life is looking like it might become stable again I can look at writing with a fresh mind again. The ideas have been there all along, they have just been filed and stored under "Save for later date". So here goes, time to start writing again, look out world you are in store for a wonderful adventure.

Mangling of words

It sometimes amazes me how a phrase, comment or a whole conversation of mine can be taken the wrong way. Am I that unclear as to believe that when I am trying to convey my feelings for a certain subject or person, that it gets taken in a way that I didnt mean at all? I am sure that many times, the mangling of my words isn't meant in a malicious way. But I still dont like it when it is done. When I am trying to be sincere, kind and just trying to explain things people take it as an attack. Maybe it is just because it is things that I care about deeply, since I am usually not one to put things into words. They usually come at a time of great passion, so feelings are heightened and more easily offended.
Well that is enough of that. I am looking into writing a short book, humorous of course since that suits me the most, but with a serious side note to it about dating as a nice guy. I consider myself a nice guy, some people may disagree with that but they will burn in the deep fiery pits of heck. So yeah, I am a nice guy, and dating isnt very fun. Because I have a tendency to care about people and trust that they are decent people as well. I forget that most people have faults, as I do too, and that they sometimes take advantage of my trust and kindness, sometimes unknowingly. But in the end, most of the time it ends up with me alone with only empty compliments. I could be bitter, but as I was thinking about it, I would be better suited turning my life and my dating snafoos into a humorous, book of learning. And who knows, maybe some trustworthy, funny, witty, beautiful woman will read said book, or blogpost (since I probably will never get it published) and decide that she will want to change my opinion on dating as a nice guy.
I say dating as a nice guy because, I have done the whole, be a jerk, get a girl to fall for you, because they do, it is ridiculous I know. But it never felt right that way, because I am not a jerk, no matter what my ex's say. I am a nice guy, and hopefully one day, instead of complimenting me on my niceness as they sail away from me. I will get a nice girl as well who is willing to drop anchor and moor with me. Yes sailing analogies, gets the girls every time.

Yeah its been a while hasnt it.

Searching for work has to be the most depressing thing ever. Knowing that you have skills to do a job but not getting hired because you can not prove that you can do a job is the worst. I thought I might have something when I almost got hired on at Honda. I had never sold cars before in my life, but I knew that I could do it. The guys who were doing the interviews thought so as well because they pushed me along and were going to hire me but then corporate said no and that fell apart. At least I can go to school and get my degree.
I cant help but think that the only reason I dont have a job yet is because Heavenly Father has something wonderful in store for me and if I get some small blessing right now, I wont be ready for the wonderful blessing that will be coming if I will only be patient.
I am blessed with a caring, patient family who is allowing me to get my schooling done and have a roof over my head. But it is so hard to keep myself from daydreaming about a time when I will be able to be on my own again. I cant wait to have a job, and feel like I am contributing to society again, instead of just being a sponge soaking up what other people work so hard for.