On being married and unemployed.

 So recently, the last year, I found out that I have an issue with my feet, my heels to be exact. That limits my ability to stand for long periods of time. Anything over 45 minutes and my heels feel like burning hot nails are being shoved into my feet. Which makes me stand in a way that causes my calves to form huge knots in the muscles, which leads to huge knots forming in my lower back, which leads to massive headaches that feel worse than migraines that afflict me nonstop. I can get deep tissue massages that help me feel better but the knots form faster than the ability I have to get rid of them.
 The reason I wrote that first paragraph was so that you would understand why I have had a hard time finding employment. I have a lot of different work experience, it should be easy for me to find something where I am sitting down. But for some strange reason I cannot find anything, my email sent box is littered with resumes and applications I have filled out. Hundreds upon hundreds, and few are the responses I have received, even fewer are the interviews I have been on.
 I am relying on my wife, newly married just over a year, to be the breadwinner. I have tried many different ways to make money and none seem to work. I know I have good ideas, I know how to run a business, I know how to work and work hard and smart.
 But me sitting home, day after day, is taking its toll on my happiness, my marriage and my wife. I find myself sleeping in longer, watching more TV and being plain lazy. My self worth has plummeted, I know I am qualified for any job I apply to, and I know I would benefit greatly whoever hired me, but I wish I could work for myself. I have so many wonderful ideas I know would make great TV shows, wonderful businesses, and lots of money.
 I have asked for so much help over my life, I cannot ask for more, but doing anything myself at this point in my life where, since the Air Force in 2009, I have been unemployed about 1/3 of the time. It has ruined my credit and I cannot get a traditional loan, nor do Kickstarter or Angel loans seem to get going for me, granted I do not have any money to put together a decent presentation or start something. It would also help if I were motivated to put something together, but life has been too depressing, even a small win lift me. Those who truly know me know that I am a happy person, my outside demeanor usually doesn't show it but inside I have been able to remain truly happy. Just circumstances have led to this depressing, self depreciating, time of my life that is having adverse affects on my marriage. And for that I am truly sorry to my wife, family and friends.