Limericks

Every once and a while I sit at my computer at work, and stupid little things come to me. Now instead of doing what everyone else does and just laughs them off and forgets about them. I write them down. I have made up a good amount of limericks working here. Almost 1 per person who works on my shift with me. I will share a few, now just a little FYI, they are limericks, they are silly, and they are normally written when I am bored out of my mind waiting for something to happen. So here we go, enjoy. Comments about the person in the limerick, follow the actual limerick, so there is no confusion.

There once was a girl nicknamed Rassy
She turned out to be quite spazzy
One late night she farted
The whole room departed
And she in turn confessed "I'm gassy"

Now, I will let you know, this coworker has never been gassy, but she normally is quite spazzy.

Air Force Staff Sargeant Jamie O
Not the brightest bulb you know
When a fact was said
She shook her head
And believed that it started to snow

I am proud of this one.

Goins, always looking for a deal
Something technically a steal
Driving home, something stunk
He had run over a skunk
Cooked it up and called it veal

This guy has had long conversations about how he wants to harvest his own methane gas for cooking and heating and whatever else he can think of.

Obi is one who loves to joke
While drinking a 2-liter of coke
His breath smelled bad
A mentos he had
And exploded in a cloud of smoke

This one is self explanatory.

Terry is the head of this shop
Everything goes wrong he yells stop
The curses flow out
As he starts to shout
And veins in his head go pop

Terry, as is said, is my boss, he is an ex marine with a, yes you guessed it, marines vocabulary. And he does get mad quite often, with every little thing that goes wrong here.

Libby wanted a house built of bricks
Then came the man elected of her politics
Took all her stuff
"Tax ma'am tough luck"
Now she lives under a lean-to of sticks

As you guessed it, Libby is a liberal, and a huge one at that, but we still are able to have semi-courteous conversations.

Margie has always loved to read
Getting through books with amazing speed
Reading a book
Sleep overtook
Woke up to find she had pee'd

Yeah, a little crude, but I think its funny. She does read at work, and every once and a while you will find her asleep at her computer.

Once there was a man named nate
Who would make his own fishing bait
Needed more fresh
Chopped up flesh
He planned another blind date

This is one that has nothing to do with the guy at all, just those were the rhymes that came up with Nate. I will admit, I do not think that Nate is a serial killer who turns his victims into bait, but with some people you never know...

Inga she grew up in the wild
Thinking she was quite mild
Ate a zebra raw
Blood dripping down her jaw
And everyone at the Zoo felt defiled

Inga, a good friend of mine, grew up in Kenya. Her mom lived out there pretty much doing what Rachel is doing right now. Supporting local people start businesses and helping them make money.

There once was a contractor named Jess
She liked to bake while wearing a dress
Chocolate she mistook
Took laxatives to work
And made the whole shop a mess

While Jess does like to bake things and bring them to work, the have been nothing but delicious.

I once knew a girl, went by the name Lili
Liked to go out and act all silly
Started to dance
Wearing sweatpants
But still she claims she isn't hillbilly



Well that is all for limericks. Maybe someday I'll come up with more, and for family members and friends we all know.